Motivation or competition?

Today, my high school friend, Laurie started a blog about her journey to lose 100 lbs. by her 40th birthday. I've been on a mission to lose weight since January. I've lost 16-18 pounds (depends on the time of day when I weigh in). That's about 1 pound a week. A bit slow, but I'm not knocking any success. I'll be 40 in 2 days so I'm pretty sure I won't be losing a 100 lbs by then unless I get rid of Cameron. However, I have no intention of doing that so I'll stick with my current plan.

My shorts from last summer and jeans from this winter are already fitting looser and becoming annoying as they droop and fall off my waist. I know, there are bigger problems in the world than clothes that are too big! Glenn said he can see that I've lost because my breasts stick out farther than my belly. Woohoo!!!

This week has been hard. I'm suffering from PMS and I don't want to turn 40 so I've managed to consume an entire bag of hershey kisses. I think I'm going to be sick just thinking about that. They sure were good though. I had quit Pepsi for several months but recently took it back up in full force. My mission after my birthday is to quit it for good. Some people need to quit smoking, some need to quit alcohol or drugs....for me it's Pepsi and I assure you it is very difficult. The sugar in Pepsi is addicting and brings on tremendous cravings. I don't look forward to the withdrawal headaches, but I know that after a few days, I'll be fine.

Some days I wish I could force myself to become bulemic. It would make life so much easier. But, I'm better than that and this time, I will lose the weight in a healthy way. Last time I lost 50 pounds it was under extreme duress and really not wanting to consume the food offered. This time, I will eat a variety of foods, good, bad and ugly. But, I will be happy and not feel like I'm being denied anything. My picture from Christmas is my starting weight. When I reach 25 pounds down and hold for a week, I will post them side by side and then again every 25 pounds. Don't look for them too often. This is a long battle and just losing 25 pounds is 10% of my beginning weight of 257. I would like to lose those next 7-9 pounds by 4th of July.

Happy New Year my friends. I know I'm 5 months late, but this is a new year of my life. Officially on Friday! May my next 40 be happier and healthier. I'm already happier. I have 2 wonderful and beautiful sisters, 5 nephews and 2 nieces between them and I love each and every one of them. I am at a wonderful place with my husband and children. Life is good and it can only get better as I've decided to focus on making myself healthy so I can enjoy them all in the future.