I wrote a note about this on Facebook last week. But, after remembering that my pastor is my friend, I felt it best to delete the note as I was a bit emotional when I wrote it and used some pretty inappropriate language.
Hi, my name is Dawn and I am addicted to Real Housewives of New York City. in the background, Hello Dawn can be heard. Okay, I'm really addicted to the entire franchise sans Atlanta. Can't seem to get into them. It's not a racial thing as I find that piece of trash Kim to be the worst offender of my senses. I just could not get into them AT ALL.
On Tuesday nights from 10-12 I can be found sitting on my ever enlarging gluteus maximus. Accent on the maximus. Yes, I realize that this is a one hour show, but I usually spend the first hour chatting with Jill Zarin on Star Cam so I have watch the show again from 11-12.
I love Jill Zarin. She is a free spending, self proclaimed JAP, Jewish American Princess. She has a 16 year old daughter, Ally who reminds me of my Kelly. Ally is into photography and France. Same as my daughter. I would like to think that if they met they'd be friends. Jill is going through the same things with her daughter as I wish I was (touring colleges, planning for SATs). Jill is married to Bobby, owner of Zarin Fabrics in Manhattan. Bobby is much like Glenn in that he understands that Jill is high strung and he just hangs back with a drink in his hand giving Jill whatever she wants.
Bethenny, my second favorite. She and Jill are as close as sisters. Beth has some serious family dysfunction going on. She is the greek chorus of the show. She says what you're thinking. She has a new book out and despite the fact that I seriously need to lose about 1 1/2 Bethenny's in weight, I will not buy it as many say it is recycled diet tips and please, I know that if I ate less and exercised more I'd be skinnier. I just like to eat and hate to exercise so her book would just be another dust collector in my itty bitty house. Still I'm TEAM BETHENNY all the way.
Ramona, dear sweet psychotic Ramona. Ramona is a self made woman and finds money to be an aphrodisiac. Honey ever gold digger in the world feels the same way. But, I'll give her props because she owned her own business before she met Mario, her husband. Together they have a sweet daughter, Avery. I think if Avery runs far, far away when she goes to college she'll be just fine. Despite being skeeved about by Mario last year, something felt fake to me with him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt figuring he was the normal one raising Avery. This year the man has seriously proved me wrong. After a 3-4 episode arc of fighting with Jill over a stupid tennis game, I find him to be a junior high school girl in an aging man's body. If he is the future of men's senior tennis pro's count me out. I'll wait on yummy Andre Agassi. Heck I'll even take John McEnroe. Ramona is "friends" with Jill yet finds a way to put Jill down every chance she gets or cause trouble between Jill and Bethenny. Honey, go back to your Big Lots supply room and get off my TV. Ramona started a skin care line because her skin looks so "fantastic." However, in each season we have seen her visit her plastic surgeon for "non invasive" treatments on her face. I think we should skip her line and find her plastic surgeon. I refuse to comment on those eyes of hers as they may be medically made that way due to a condition so I'll hold off. I do find them to be less bug-eyed this year. Must have been a season break trip to her doctor to fix that problem.
Luann. Oh Countess Luann or is it Ex-Countess Luann? Luann is our resident royalty. She married a Count from France. Not sure what that means, but she's glad to point it out to you. Luann has a lovely housekeeper, Rosie, and two beautiful children. Noel and Victoria are beautiful in a European classic kind of way. We don't see much of her husband, the Count as it's been discovered that he has been spending quite some time with an Ethiopian Princess. Luann is writing a book on etiquette. I really should read this one, but since she tends to overstep her bounds on issues even I, a peasant would not dare do, I think I'll pass. Looking forward to seeing her date next season. Should be a hoot. She gave Bethenny some great dating advice this season so let's see if she takes it herself.
Alex and Simon. I use them together because face it, they are always together. I think we've seen Alex 3 times without Simon. All three times were with Bethenny. Does this mean that Beth is the only one that Simon finds to be non-threatening? If that's the case, then Simon you need to hike up that speedo, put some extra glue on the toupee and wake the heck up. She's got your number and would be happy to help Alex find a way out of that controlling marriage you got going there. This year, we got to see Simon and Alex stay in the Hamptons in a room with a Bidet/toilet for decoration, I sure hope it was a decoration, and renovate their slumhouse, oops I mean townhouse. I think Alex by herself would be fine, with Simon, YUCK. Can't stand their bordello living room and their kids are out of control. I have a son with ADD but I assure you if he ever demolished a $60 hamburger with a kangaroo (some one else's hamburger) and ran wild through a fabric store, he'd be walking for a week because he'd be unable to sit. Remember, we've had the police called on us in a restaurant so a fabric store would be no problem for us.
Kelly. Kelly is a vapid, drugged out ex model. Her brain is so fried she can't keep facts straight from one minute to the next and finds everything to be, like, cute or adorable. Umm, I'm almost 39 and I stopped talking like that in high school. Her "beau" Max on the show is merely a prop. She'd never actually date someone who'd be on reality TV. Okay! Her real boyfriend, Nick made the mistake of stepping a little to close to her fist a few months ago. Kelly was arrested for assault and is awaiting trial. Not too surprising as she looks more manly that my darling husband.
I've tried to be as nice as possible in my descriptions of these loonies. Tonight is the season finale and then 2 1 hour reunion specials next week. Luckily, the Real Housewives of New Jersey start next week. Now these women are some true blue Italian, connected broads and I can't wait to get a full snark on about them. I follow www.televisionwithoutpity.com and love to snark on all my shows. My first stop is always the current Real Housewives board.
5 hours 55 minutes and counting. If I drank, I'd have a bottle of wine and a dish of strawberries next to me by 9:45. Instead I'll have a Pepsi and bag of chips.
Hi, my name is Dawn and I am addicted to Real Housewives of New York City. in the background, Hello Dawn can be heard. Okay, I'm really addicted to the entire franchise sans Atlanta. Can't seem to get into them. It's not a racial thing as I find that piece of trash Kim to be the worst offender of my senses. I just could not get into them AT ALL.
On Tuesday nights from 10-12 I can be found sitting on my ever enlarging gluteus maximus. Accent on the maximus. Yes, I realize that this is a one hour show, but I usually spend the first hour chatting with Jill Zarin on Star Cam so I have watch the show again from 11-12.
I love Jill Zarin. She is a free spending, self proclaimed JAP, Jewish American Princess. She has a 16 year old daughter, Ally who reminds me of my Kelly. Ally is into photography and France. Same as my daughter. I would like to think that if they met they'd be friends. Jill is going through the same things with her daughter as I wish I was (touring colleges, planning for SATs). Jill is married to Bobby, owner of Zarin Fabrics in Manhattan. Bobby is much like Glenn in that he understands that Jill is high strung and he just hangs back with a drink in his hand giving Jill whatever she wants.
Bethenny, my second favorite. She and Jill are as close as sisters. Beth has some serious family dysfunction going on. She is the greek chorus of the show. She says what you're thinking. She has a new book out and despite the fact that I seriously need to lose about 1 1/2 Bethenny's in weight, I will not buy it as many say it is recycled diet tips and please, I know that if I ate less and exercised more I'd be skinnier. I just like to eat and hate to exercise so her book would just be another dust collector in my itty bitty house. Still I'm TEAM BETHENNY all the way.
Ramona, dear sweet psychotic Ramona. Ramona is a self made woman and finds money to be an aphrodisiac. Honey ever gold digger in the world feels the same way. But, I'll give her props because she owned her own business before she met Mario, her husband. Together they have a sweet daughter, Avery. I think if Avery runs far, far away when she goes to college she'll be just fine. Despite being skeeved about by Mario last year, something felt fake to me with him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt figuring he was the normal one raising Avery. This year the man has seriously proved me wrong. After a 3-4 episode arc of fighting with Jill over a stupid tennis game, I find him to be a junior high school girl in an aging man's body. If he is the future of men's senior tennis pro's count me out. I'll wait on yummy Andre Agassi. Heck I'll even take John McEnroe. Ramona is "friends" with Jill yet finds a way to put Jill down every chance she gets or cause trouble between Jill and Bethenny. Honey, go back to your Big Lots supply room and get off my TV. Ramona started a skin care line because her skin looks so "fantastic." However, in each season we have seen her visit her plastic surgeon for "non invasive" treatments on her face. I think we should skip her line and find her plastic surgeon. I refuse to comment on those eyes of hers as they may be medically made that way due to a condition so I'll hold off. I do find them to be less bug-eyed this year. Must have been a season break trip to her doctor to fix that problem.
Luann. Oh Countess Luann or is it Ex-Countess Luann? Luann is our resident royalty. She married a Count from France. Not sure what that means, but she's glad to point it out to you. Luann has a lovely housekeeper, Rosie, and two beautiful children. Noel and Victoria are beautiful in a European classic kind of way. We don't see much of her husband, the Count as it's been discovered that he has been spending quite some time with an Ethiopian Princess. Luann is writing a book on etiquette. I really should read this one, but since she tends to overstep her bounds on issues even I, a peasant would not dare do, I think I'll pass. Looking forward to seeing her date next season. Should be a hoot. She gave Bethenny some great dating advice this season so let's see if she takes it herself.
Alex and Simon. I use them together because face it, they are always together. I think we've seen Alex 3 times without Simon. All three times were with Bethenny. Does this mean that Beth is the only one that Simon finds to be non-threatening? If that's the case, then Simon you need to hike up that speedo, put some extra glue on the toupee and wake the heck up. She's got your number and would be happy to help Alex find a way out of that controlling marriage you got going there. This year, we got to see Simon and Alex stay in the Hamptons in a room with a Bidet/toilet for decoration, I sure hope it was a decoration, and renovate their slumhouse, oops I mean townhouse. I think Alex by herself would be fine, with Simon, YUCK. Can't stand their bordello living room and their kids are out of control. I have a son with ADD but I assure you if he ever demolished a $60 hamburger with a kangaroo (some one else's hamburger) and ran wild through a fabric store, he'd be walking for a week because he'd be unable to sit. Remember, we've had the police called on us in a restaurant so a fabric store would be no problem for us.
Kelly. Kelly is a vapid, drugged out ex model. Her brain is so fried she can't keep facts straight from one minute to the next and finds everything to be, like, cute or adorable. Umm, I'm almost 39 and I stopped talking like that in high school. Her "beau" Max on the show is merely a prop. She'd never actually date someone who'd be on reality TV. Okay! Her real boyfriend, Nick made the mistake of stepping a little to close to her fist a few months ago. Kelly was arrested for assault and is awaiting trial. Not too surprising as she looks more manly that my darling husband.
I've tried to be as nice as possible in my descriptions of these loonies. Tonight is the season finale and then 2 1 hour reunion specials next week. Luckily, the Real Housewives of New Jersey start next week. Now these women are some true blue Italian, connected broads and I can't wait to get a full snark on about them. I follow www.televisionwithoutpity.com and love to snark on all my shows. My first stop is always the current Real Housewives board.
5 hours 55 minutes and counting. If I drank, I'd have a bottle of wine and a dish of strawberries next to me by 9:45. Instead I'll have a Pepsi and bag of chips.
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