National Museum of the USAF

We had a change of plans last night. After consideration, we decided that rather than have a meal that would be gone in hours, we should take the time to drive to Dayton, Ohio and visit the National Museum of the United States Air Force. The other day when I was researching our vacation, I discovered it.

Friday, after work, we packed up and drove to Columbus and got a room. Our intentions were to get up early this morning and get to the museum around 9 or 10. We did not even get up until around 9. Glenn still needed to shower and breakfast of course so we did not get there until around noon.

Cameron jumping on the bed at the hotel.

Our first stop was at the IMAX theater to see their schedule. I believe they had 4 different movies playing. I figured Cameron would want to see Fighter Pilots or Straight Up, Helicopters in Action. He chose the latter. We purchased our tickets and proceeded to tour the museum for a few hours until the movie. The tickets were reasonably priced. $6.50 for adults and $4.75 for students.

Cameron and I after the IMAX show.

The museum is well laid out in airplane hangers. First, the Early Years. This section highlighted the early years of all aviation, including balloons and dirigibles through WWI. We discovered after an hour in this small section that if we continued to stop and look at all the displays and narratives available, we would never get out. We decided to more or less walk through and stop at only the most interesting things to us. Of course, everything was interesting! As you leave the Early Years you pass through the Holocaust Memorial. I still can't believe how much this small exhibit moved me to tears.

Cameron and I learning about the Langley Propeller

I took the time to sit Cameron down and give him a quick overview of what the Holocaust was and how Hitler wanted to wipe out the entire Jewish race.

As you move forward, you pass into the Air Power Gallery. This contains the WWII memorabilia and aircraft. I never quite understood how many different aircraft types there were in the USAF. A very interesting exhibit to us was the Bockscar which dropped the bomb on Nagasaki three days after the Hiroshima bombing. The Nagasaki bombing actually forced the surrender of Japan. I did not know this until today.

Glenn and Cameron

The Bockscar that dropped the bomb on Nagasaki

Leaving the Air Power Gallery you turn left down a hallway to pass to the Modern Flight Gallery. We passed the Hall of Fame, but we did not have time to stop in. Next visit it's a MUST SEE! One thing I found interesting was that not only were aircraft on display, but also uniforms, medals and other artifacts relating to the personnel and the aircraft. A large covering of the lower left wing on Orville Wright's plane was on display as well as socks with bullet holes worn by a USAF pilot.

We moved through an exhibit of the Berlin Air Lift into the Modern Air Gallery. Modern Air represents Vietnam and Korea. Part of the B-29 that delivered 2,500,000 pounds of bombs over Korea was on display and you can walk through it. The IMAX simulator ride is in the Modern Air Gallery. The simulator ride was reasonably priced also. I paid $7.00 total for Cam and I to ride. It simulated a ride in a F-117 Stealth Bomber.

Cameron and Glenn in the F-117 cockpit

Cameron and I in front of the IMAX Morphis ride

As you leave the Modern Air Gallery you enter the Cold War Gallery. The name is misleading as it actually displays equipment through the Cold War until present. In a far corner, there are two hands on exhibits, cockpits of F-16 and F-117's that you can sit in. We did not get to see this entire section, nor the Space and Missile Gallery as the museum closed at 5.

Next time, we plan to get to the museum right at 9 so that we can sign up for the Presidential tour, which includes a tour of President Kennedy's Air Force One, along with the exhibits we missed.

The museum is really a full weekend event. Fortunately, it is completely free unless you want to experience the IMAX events. There is a cafe upstairs so you can stop and eat if you choose. It's typical fare. Not that great, but it will hold you over until you leave.

Glenn and I were not sure that we would enjoy the museum as we are not quite the military aircraft buffs that Cameron is. Yet, we had a wonderful time and wished we had more time. There is a huge gift ship between the lobby and the first exhibit. Cameron got a model to hang in his room, a Chinauk toy helicopter and a poster.

Cameron says it was the best day of his life. All in all, it was a great family day. If anyone plans to visit the south central Ohio area, I highly recommend stopping in to the museum.

Spring is in the air, let's take a trip

The other night I took the time to read through my posts. Especially the ones concerning family. I skipped some of the political rants. Wow, our lives have certainly come full circle in the past 10 1/2 months.

My first post last year was "Spring Has Sprung." I considered it for today's post but thought again as I can certainly be more creative than that. Okay, so "Spring is in the air "is not exactly a stroke of creative genius.

The other day, Glenn pointed out a beautiful yellow flower blooming next to our house. It was more surprising than last year's red tulip. Last year we lived in a big farmhouse in the country. This year, we live in the city, on a busy road with lots of diesel fumes. Who would expect the flower to survive one year, let alone bloom again.

This afternoon, I was doing dishes and looking out at the area where we live. Today is quite rainy. Most would consider it a dismal day. I saw beauty and green everywhere I looked. Don't get me wrong, I don't live in a fancy suburb. I live on a busy city street surrounded by businesses and a burned out house. But looking up the hill behind Tony's (our boss) house I saw a luscious green lawn. Yes, our boss lives directly out of our kitchen window. I'm not usually one to be struck by things like green lawns and flowers. I'm more of a true city girl. Find me somewhere to shop and I'm good.

Since I've moved to Pennsylvania, I've discovered the beauty of slowing down and smelling the proverbial roses. Since I don't work full-time, I can listen to the birds sing. I heard them for the first time yesterday morning. I can take time to hear my child playing with his cars, the clanking is somehow comforting.

I'm not a garden person. I've never grown a garden of any sort, nor do I plan to. I'm not the get your hands dirty, dig in the dirt kind of girl. Some love it and find it peaceful. Me, not so much. However, I love flowers. I get mine from the local florist. Obviously, not very often. I don't even notice gardens. I'm not a fan of walking through a garden looking at all the pretty flowers. It's just not relaxing to me. Maybe I should try taking a book and sitting in one. Never mind, the bees and other flying things would bother me. That's just the kind of girl I am. Indoors all the way.

Years ago, my grandmother planted a garden on the rear side of her trailer, not the back section, just the side opposite the front door. Every time I visited her, I parked on that side of the trailer. Months later she mentioned her garden and I remember asking "what garden?" she replied the one behind the house and that it had been planted months before. That's the kind of person I am. I don't notice the little things. I have a focus and usually at Gram's it was getting inside to see her.

There is so much planned for this Spring. I'm delighted it's finally here. I look forward to the nice weather. We are taking Cameron on a field trip to WPXI studios in April. Cameron and Glenn are going to their first "Opening Day" MLB game, we will visit the zoo for the first time. At least Cameron and my first time. I'm fortunate to be able to experience these things with Cameron. Well, except the baseball game. We don't like baseball. Cameron does. I think it's a Daddy and son thing to do so it got me out of going. I will probably read a book while they are gone. Cameron got his VIP Buckaroo Pack from the Pittsburgh Pirates yesterday. He put the hat right on and wore all through Occupational Therapy. He is extremely excited for this entire season to get started.

Some days we really miss our life in Florida. Glenn made better money owning his own business. I worked full-time. Every year we had season passes to one of the major amusement park chains. The year we got married it was Disney World. Cameron's first trip to Disney was at 3 weeks. By 3 months he was sleeping through the fireworks. The following year we moved over to Universal Studios. If you asked, this is our favorite chain. Islands of Adventure is our absolute favorite park. Cameron reached for his first toy, a Cat in the Hat stuffed animal at Islands of Adventure. Another professional picture moment. Then we moved on to Busch Gardens/Sea World. Glenn and the kids really enjoyed the animal parts of these parks. Cameron attended his first major concert at Sea World, Montgomery Gentry. He is sensitive to loud noises so he did not enjoy it so much. The rest of us loved it. In 2005, we got season passes to Disney World again. I bet I have the only 2 children in the world who do not ask to go to Disney World. IofA they would gladly take any day though. Anyone planning a trip to Florida, skip Mickey Mouse and head over to Universal Studios. You won't regret it. We are a family who loves roller coasters. I even bribed Cameron with $20 to get on a baby coaster at BG. Hopefully, one day he will love them as much as we do. For now, we'll let Glenn sit them out with Cameron as Glenn gets motion sickness now. :< I'm not quite ready to give up the thrill.

Glenn and I have been discussing using his boat cleaning money to take a family vacation this year. As I've mentioned we are going to do it over Christmas. I've decided that even if school is not out yet, I'm taking Cameron on December 18th and leaving town. I've tentatively scheduled our trip. It will take just over 2 weeks. There will be many educational opportunities as we are planning several National Parks. Our list of sites to see and places to visit as of now are:

• Lincoln's home in Springfield, IL
• Deadwood, SD...this is due to the Big & Rich DVD Glenn has
• Mount Rushmore, SD
  
• Yosemite National Park, WY
  
• Salt Lake City, UT
• Route 66 in Arizona on Christmas Day
  
• Grand Canyon, AZ
• Danielle *my best friend* in Chandler, AZ
• War Eagles Air Museum, St. Teresa, NM, what's a trip without airplanes for Cameron?
  
• St. Louis, MO just to see the Arch
• Graceland, Memphis, TN...Cameron discovered Elvis last year and wants to visit his home. He asks about it alot.
  
• Nashville, TN we plan to spend New Years Eve and New Years Day in Nashville.

It feels and looks like quite and ambitious trip. We may have to leave things out, but I don't know what we'd have to pass one thing to get to the next. SD were late additions, but Glenn really wants them, along with Salt Lake City for the Salt Flats. It seems like everything I could leave out is what Glenn wants. The only state I truly want to visit is Arizona for Danielle and the Grand Canyon. The rest, I could take or leave. If need be, Lincoln's home may be dropped. It's a few hours, but it would get us to Deadwood sooner. And maybe we could get Deadwood and Mount Rushmore in one day. There may be a lot of edits to our itinerary in the coming months. I wanted to get started now because I need to have a budget and know what hotels allow pets as we certainly can't leave Milo home alone. Sometimes I really miss my sister for dog sitting.

I'm off to start dinner. My shows start in 15 minutes so I must make something quickly. Happy Spring everyone. Warm weather is coming!

Happy Anniversary

I can't believe it's been 11 years. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday we were embarking on this journey of life together. Other days it feels like we've been joined forever!!!! But, this Saturday, we will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary.

Getting to the point of marriage for us seemed like a short trip to some. In fact, it was a long, heartbreaking journey for us.

Glenn and I met the summer after my freshman and his senior year of high school. I remember walking into my grandmother's trailer, looking to my left, seeing him and actually feeling the air rush out of my lungs. I WAS IN LOVE. No other way to put it. Our paths did not cross often that fall, but by Christmas we had become closer. I have pictures sitting with him on Christmas day. He got me drunk on Christmas eve. One of the few times I've ever been drunk. I would do anything for and with this man. I was grounded for some inane reason that Christmas. Glenn snuck me out on Christmas Day (gotta love big families) and we drove around Fort Myers. I desperately wanted him to kiss me. But to him, I was jail bait and he could not risk that for even me. I understand, but I was still longing. He was such a major crush for me.

In January, my father let me off grounding long enough to go to the KISS concert with Glenn. We consider this our first real date. We were supposed to be chaperoning my cousin and his best friend. I'm not sure how well we did. We made it to floor level for the WASP show (opening act) then to our seats for KISS. I was so tired, I fell asleep in his arms. Now who here can say they actually slept through KISS? I certainly did. My cousin and his friend on the other hand ended up outside smoking pot. I'm not sure they even saw the concert. This concert was my cousin's dream. I remember the utter devotion he had to KISS as a child.

By February, Nan had come to visit and taken him back to PA. I was completely lost. We talked often and wrote. This went on for several years. Finally, after high school, actually the following year, I joined my grandparents for a trip to NJ for my great-grandmothers 90th birthday. We then went to PA. We stayed at his parents house for a few days and Glenn would pick me up in the afternoon for a few hours before he went to work at night. Definitely not long enough. We had decided I would move up here with him. Instead, I met Roger and moved on with my life. Roger and I lasted all of 6 tumultuous months. We had the same birthday and for two Taurus/Gemini cusp people that is not good at all.

After my relationship with Roger ended, I joined the US Navy. I don't know exactly why other than I had skipped college, my father always wanted me to join as he could not, and basically, I had no good reason not to. I joined, went away for 6 weeks and returned home for medical reasons. That summer I met Mike. Had I not met him when I did or waited a bit to get serious with him, I may have had a chance with Glenn. Mike and I got together in late July. Glenn moved back to Fla. in September. Another time when I lost my breath. This time out of disappointment. I married Mike in April, even though my heart ALWAYS belonged to Glenn. I even told him so at the wedding. Glenn was such a gentleman, he stepped away from the friendship for the sake of my marriage. Mike always knew where my heart truly was. He even told me after the divorce that I should be with Glenn.

During my marriage, I left Mike for a short (few week) period of time and returned to Fla. for a visit. I loved Glenn so much and disliked Mike so much that I knew if I saw him, I would be heartbroken because Glenn would never do anything to jeopardize the success of my marriage. I later found out that when my aunt and uncle went to his house on father's day he was looking for me. That could have been the start of our life. But, I was scared and stayed back. Instead, I returned to Tennessee and my marriage for 4 more months. By the end of October, I had had enough, I fled home secretly to lick my wounds and heal my heart. I was a good girl. I never asked about Glenn. I figured if it were meant to be, it would happen.

On Christmas Eve, my family gathered again and someone asked about Glenn. When I heard that he had moved back to PA in October, my mood dissipated and I lost hope. The day after Christmas, my aunt and uncle received a Christmas card from him. I took that opportunity to call him. We renewed our friendship and once again when my grandparents traveled north in June, I joined them. Kelly went to see her dad and I went to see Glenn. We spent days together. He would come pick me up each day and we would go to Kennywood or to his friends house to visit. At a bar the night before Kennywood we were discussing past loves and he mentioned that he broke up with a girl because she need too much hands on attention and did not like to hold hands or be touched too often. I spent the day at Kennywood literally shying away from him. This time, he was going to move to Florida. I looked into jobs for him and everything. Then he met Sherry.

He met Sherry at a party and she moved fast. In the blink of an eye he was gone. I was bewildered and spent my time at school, with Kelly and nursing my heart. We both eventually moved on. He got engaged. I met a man whom I was considering planning a life with.

Then January, 1997 happened. Glenn and Sherry were in an accident that cost Sherry her life. Glenn contacted my cousin and and when his wife relayed this to me I began to cry. My one true love could have been lost to me. My relationship was on the rocks so I picked up the phone again. This time, we believed we'd finally be together. Then I found out the worst news. I was pregnant.

Glenn was pissed, I was scared. I had to do the right thing and plan a life with the father of the baby. I know, who gets pregnant on accident in 1997? Stupid me. Steve and I began to plan our wedding and I lost contact with Glenn. Then on Glenn's birthday I found out I'd lost the baby. Steve and I continued with our plans. Finally, in May we knew. There was no way we could marry. We split and a few weeks later I called Glenn. We had a hard time connecting. We actually never connected via telephone. I planned a trip for Memorial Day weekend with his mother. She said if he could not get off work to get me at the airport she would. I was so happy when I got off the plane and there he was. This was back in the day when you could go to the gate to meet your loved ones.

We spent a glorious weekend together and it was the beginning of something special. Glenn flew to Florida in June and then returned in July to live with me.

In August, right before Labor Day we went to Montgomery Ward's and selected an engagement ring. He never actually proposed, it was just assumed. We planned our wedding for March and 11 years later here we are.



I always told Glenn I would marry him when I was 28. Glenn selected our wedding date, it was 6 weeks before I turned 28. If I had selected it, I would have waited a few months just to prove myself right. Just this once, I can be wrong.

We've finally decided on our Anniversary outing. We are taking Cameron to the Melting Pot at Station Square at 4 p.m. He has never been and we are hoping the fondue experience is as fun for him as it is for us.

A day in the life, books and cars

I've been sitting here trying to maintain my buzz. You know that great feeling you have when you first awaken, before the trials of the world set in.

To do this, I have refused to turn on Fox News or read any of the news headlines on-line.

I was awoken this morning by the telephone, twice. The first call I silenced. It was our chiropractor, I'm sure wanting to know where his lettering is. That would be the lettering I've spent the last week trying to get just so. I've got it just about ready, except Glenn does not have the correct color of vinyl to cut the letters out.

The second call was from my amazing sister-in-law offering me more support than the local bridges have. It was so sweet of her to call and I'd wake up to her voice any day.

Cameron has attempted several times to kill my buzz.

While trying to get him to log onto school he kept ignoring me, other than to give me the loser sign. You know the one where you form an L and hold it in front of your forehead.

Can you imagine how frustrating that is at 9:45 in the morning? Finally, I got him into class but his microphone did not work, then somehow the power cord to the cable router came unplugged. So there I was crawling around on the floor under his desk trying to figure out what the problem was. Not a pretty sight I'm sure. Then throughout his first two classes, I glance over at him, I see a Science book page on the screen and no Science book to be seen on his desk, only a dictionary. I can literally feel my blood pressure rising. A quick reminder to him and a deep breath. There that feels better. Buzz is back. Must maintain.

These are the situations I deal with all morning with him and school. Either that or he's trying to talk to me, usually to tell me a story about a game he's been playing or a cartoon he's been watching. Helloooooo, you are in school, don't speak to me unless you have a problem with the assignment or computer. Pretend you are in a public school.

When my nephew, Tylar, was in 1st grade I remember the teacher telling us that although he could not sit still and would run around the room during story time, he was always able to recite the story back verbatim. I hope that Cameron has the same abilities. Unfortunately, I don't think he does. Usually his mind is completely off the subject. He loves to read, only he wants to read what he likes. Encyclopedias, dictionaries and military aircraft books. He can't stand to read non-fiction. I'm very proud, but it makes it hard to get him to read the required reading for English class. We are about to start Island of the Blue Dolphin. I've never read it so I look forward to reading it along with him. I usually read all of the books my kids read in school so that I know what they are reading and so I can help them remember some key points.

My reading preference tends to run to fiction and (auto)biographies. Right now I am reading What Remains, a Memoir of Fate, Friendship & Love by Carole Radziwell. Carole Radziwell is the widow of Jacqueline Kennedy's nephew. They were best friends with John F. Kennedy & Carolyn Bissette Kennedy. The story is mainly about the summer that John, Carolyn and Anthony Radziwell all died within weeks of each other. It also recounts her life before she met Anthony. I am currently in the chapter of her meeting Anthony. I find it to be a good read. The last book I read though was A Janet Evanovich book.

I absolutely love to read. I read in bed, in the car, in the bathroom, and at the dinner table.

I learned to read at 4 and I believe it was my first love.

Reading takes me to a place far away, where my troubles cease to exist. I find that I learn things even in the most inane books. Barbara Taylor Bradford's books give me a sense of history, England and France. Janet Evanovich evokes the New Jersey 'burgh. My mom was born in New Jersey and when she reads the books she says they remind her of her youth. She moved to Pittsburgh around age 10 so it is early youth.

Glenn hates when I read because it takes valuable time and attention from him. He does not get that all of his car love makes me feel the same way. At least when I read, I can be sitting near him and rubbing his arm or head. When he is fawning over his car, he's completely away from me and usually stressing for some reason. I understand his love of cars, I just wish he'd keep one for more that 6 months or so. A few months ago he sat down and counted the number of cars he's owned and at that point it was over 60. He's been driving for 15 years at that point so it averaged to about 4 cars per year. That is an astounding number to me. He is desperately wanting to rid of the Lincoln. I am holding firm though.

I really like the car despite the fact that he has never replaced the antenna so the radio has static (I usually play a dvd or cd instead), the passenger side windows do not go down (I'm driving, what do I care), the lock motor buzzes on the passenger side (I know when the car is finally locked and unlocked by the sound), and now the heat does not work (okay, this is a problem for me, I hate the cold and just thinking of driving 45 minutes each way to Cam's O/T appt. on Wed is giving me shivers).

I don't care. I grew up with crappy cars. The car looks nice and runs well. That is all that matters to me. If I can drive "Puff" I can drive anything. I do have to say that "Puff" had great heat. Sometimes you had to kick the wire, but it blew hot and strong. Just the way I liked it. Glenn has a new car, a Cadillac. He's still debating whether he'll keep it or finish fixing it up and sell it. I'm betting he'll sell it. I told him he can get a motorcycle next. But not both. We don't really need two cars as we live across the street from work .

Toxic relationships and vacations

I've been thinking a lot about my past. I've spent a great deal of my life, up to and including today, wanting people's approval and love. Many times I have wanted that approval so much that I have allowed my self to accept toxic relationships in my life, as well as, being toxic to others.

From this point forward, I am sending all toxic relationships to the place they rightly belong, the garbage.

I have a small circle of friends and family whom have no toxic value. I intend to nurture those relationships into beautiful blooming flowers.

This morning I woke up feeling blah! I've been feeling blah for the past few days, but today I just did not want to venture far from my bed. In fact, I have not. We were invited to Glenn's friend, Shawn's house for dinner. I decided that based on my feelings, I wanted to stay home in bed playing backgammon, reading and watching sappy movies on TV. When I lay around and read I tend to think. Thinking sometimes can be my downfall. However, today I wanted those thoughts to produce something forward for me. I believe that they have. They have allowed me to realize something very significant about myself. Now, I need to hold firm to my resolution and begin a positive lifestyle. Learn to say no to toxicity or any other things that could bring toxicity into my life.

The next few days will be spent trying to decide what to do about our anniversary. We don't want to sit around doing the same old, same old. We know that if we hang out at home Glenn will end up working on his car and I'll end up resenting it. Glenn suggested that we go visit his aunt and uncle in Ohio. Unfortunately, we were a bit late requesting a place in their schedule. They are quite busy and social and we've learned that we need to schedule months in advance, not a week, LOL. I looked up Hershey Park today but they are not open yet and the price is as high as Disney World. We are considering a drive up to Niagara Falls, NY. As that is an option we have tossed about for some time, I think it may be the way we go.

Also, we have decided to schedule our vacation this year to coincide with Christmas. Our plan is to put boat money aside and rent a van or RV and tour the Southwest/West for two weeks while Cameron is off school. It has been a dream of ours. We had intended this trip to include Kelly and be taken this summer. It was designed to be her pre-college family trip. I suggested the trip to her while she lived here and she was not interested. I think Cameron will really enjoy the history aspect of the trip. Glenn and I will get an atlas soon to begin mapping out the trip and then we'll do some historical research on places we'd like to visit. Our mid point destination is Arizona. We'd like to see the Grand Canyon and my best friend lives in Phoenix.

I was watching a repeat of Little People, Big World last night and became interested in the Mississippi Queen riverboat they were vacationing on. I tried to look up trips on it, but they list none after March, 2009. When I mentioned it to Glenn he thought it might be too cold in December to be on the water. I guess I agree with him.

There are so many places to see and we'd like to see them with Cameron.

I'm off to continue watching sappy movies. Right now I'm watching The Holiday with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet. I've been wanting to see it and am glad it's on TV. Next is Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. I've seen it several times so I may end up back on Fox News. I don't think I can handle the RHONY or Secret Life of the American Teenager marathons. They both make me want to throw something at the TV. I guess FOX News can do the same, but at least they are saying things that make sense.

Things that make you go..."say what?"

Despite the last few hours, I had a pretty great day on Friday. First day of Spring. Of course, the thermometer outside did not remind me of the Springs I grew up with. It's a bit disconcerting to look at pictures of your daughter frolicking on a beach in a bikini when you need a winter coat to check the mail.

Glenn and I are getting much closer and the past few hours have actually helped us to circle the wagons and realize what it is important. Our marriage. We've weathered A LOT of storms. Now entering our 11th year of marriage we are ready for some tropical, relaxing days.

Cameron spent a good part of his "vacation" day playing game system and watching TV. He's been very happy to have 2 extra days off of school due to PSSAs. I was proud that he finally finished them. I enjoyed not having to wake him up and get him moving. I've allowed him to fall asleep and awaken organically. It should be a difficult task getting him to bed on Sunday night. I'm hoping that the success we experienced during PSSAs getting him to bed on-time returns.

I've spend a great deal of the day on my big caboose playing backgammon, reading snarky websites and watching Fox News. The top stories today are astounding.

1. AIG is now suing the US for $306,000,000.00. This, after receiving billions of dollars from the US Treasury, making us 80% owners of AIG. They spent $165,000,000.00 on retention bonuses. I covered my feelings on the bonuses yesterday. Today it is about the ridiculous act of their quietly filing suit with the clerk of the Federal court for taxes they claim they overpaid. Let me get this straight, we own the majority of stock in the company, they are suing us, and we will have to pay attorneys to try to recover this money from US. It is beyond belief and words fail me. I'll get back to you later on this one.

2. Fortunately, the Republicans have temporarily blocked the passage of the tax bill. The bill wherein they place a 90% tax on the bonuses given to AIG employees. We all know this is temporary. I'm just hoping a Constitutional Law professor from GWU can stop in to Capitol Hill and give them a quick lesson on how this bill violates the Constitution. Passing this bill will only cause us to have to fight additional lawsuits in federal court. Yeah, we got money for that.

3. The budget deficit is projected to be so high that anyone reading this, and their children, will never see it balanced again.

4. Ramos and Compean. I'm so glad to see these men out of prison and off house arrest. I worry how they will survive as federal convicts. I hope some true patriots are willing to give them a job.

5. Obama is planning to meet with Iran. Can I say....bad move?

6. THIS IS THE BIG ONE....France and Russia recommend doing away with the dollar and creating a global currency. Let's read Revelations and see where this is headed!

I'm so scared for our country. I don't know what is going to happen and it scares me.

I'm going to try to get some sleep now. My eyes hurt. I've kissed my boys and tucked them in.

Tomorrow we are planning to go visit some friends for game night. We haven't had game night in months. I think it's mainly a winter thing as the spring and summer tend to bring more outside activities. I'm looking forward to visiting with these two special people. I hope I can keep my competitive nature in check. Foregoing DVD Scene It might be a good idea as it takes 3 people to come close to keeping me in check. Maybe some Rummikub if I can find the game. Our game boxes have been stored in the basement unopened since the move. Wish me luck.

Invitation only

It has come to my attention that there are some people reading this blog and are harassing me about it. I have decided to make it by invitation only. Also, some people are sharing private conversations and it makes me nervous to talk to people. My blog is by invitation only from now on. Thank you.

AIG and late night runs

On every news channel there are stories about the AIG bonus scandal. Here are my thoughts.

I get that they were contractual obligations. However, did noone in the federal government review the books of AIG before they sent them BILLIONS of our dollars? That was my stupid question of the day. Of course they didn't. Same as they didn't read the most recent stimulus package. We rushed each of these "economy boosting/saving" packages through congress. I think Dodd should definitely not be reelected. He admitted to lying about a very important matter of the public trust. Impeachment may seem a bit severe though and could be a waste of more of our money as it probably would fail as we have a democratic favored congress right now. They like having a scapegoat. Right now, he's it. Geithner should be FIRED...RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! He has been involved in the AIG mess the entire time the government has been involved. He brokered the damn deal for hell's sake.

Liddy, do not make him the scapegoat at AIG for this mess. He has only done what he thought he was legally bound to do and I don't think $1 a year is enough for any of this bullshit and if I were him I would have made that abundantly clear to congress earlier this week. The common folk know he is in the clear. Barney Frank get off your high horse. You know he's not responsible. Start blaming others in AIG, but, leave Liddy alone. Asking for names sounds a bit like the McCarthy era. We should never, ever ask for names of individuals in this manner.

A 90% tax on the funds seems illegal to me. To all my friends at Fox News also. What kind of country are we becoming, when we can tax a person just because they received a bonus? A damn foolish country heading down the wrong road at breakneck speed. Could we possibly have a Constitutional Law class become mandatory for all sitting and newly elected political officials, at all levels? Obviously, not one member of our congress has taken the class or if they did, they don't remember anything about the class.

Back to my point, I get the retention bonuses, but, how can giving a bonus to someone who left the company months ago be a retention bonus? If they needed bonuses, the bonus amounts should have been greatly reduced and any good American would have walked in an requested a contract renegotiation to save the company. They could have been out of a job. I'm poor, but if the company I worked for had been having those problems, I would have stepped up to help. I heard our business manager complaining about making payroll last week. I stepped up and asked them to hold off on paying me until the end of them month so they could get paid for a big job first. I know my paycheck probably didn't make a big difference, but if each of the 173 persons holding those contracts had done that or if the executives or Liddy had held a meeting with them and asked each to take a reduced bonus and then be able to show the American people that, yes, we had to pay out a chunk on these bonuses, but, the recipients took a reduced bonus, then maybe the outrage would have been quelled. It would have shown that AIG was taking responsibility and they understood the position they put our country in. I could live for 2 years off of a $100,000 bonus. That is I could live nicer than I do now for 2 years. Not fancily, but I could pay my bills and still pump some into the economy or take a vacation.

LATE NIGHT RUNS

Several weeks ago, Riley called Cameron and asked him to come spend a few days and ride the go-kart with him. It took a few weeks, but, finally I was able to drop Cameron off at June's yesterday. I guess all was well until Cameron realized I did not pack the ti-ti. Anyone who personally knows Cameron knows that this blanket was a prized piece of material throughout his toddler years. It's actually not the same ti-ti he had back then. The original was a tan and blue quilt type blanket with bows and frogs that my bosses wife gave me at my baby shower. It was handmade and came with a frog that had a tie matching the material of the blanket. I have banged on daycare doors many evenings and even fed-exed the blanket from Florida to Pennsylvania once. It has been used to wipe his tears and keep him warm. I have a picture of him when he was 3 or 4, professionally taken, to remember the "original" ti-ti. Eventually, it was lost. He lost it and I have no idea where. Fortunately, during one of our many late night mending sessions, Glenn clipped a piece of it and keeps it in his top drawer for memory sake. The new ti-ti is a blanket that Nan created. After Cameron grew out of his crib, Nan came to visit us in Florida. She took his bumper pads back home and after taking them apart and removing the stuffing, she used the material to make him a blanket. The blanket is about 3 feet long. She embroidered little "surprises" into the seams and corners. There are crocodiles, penguins, moons, suns, and even his initials. This blanket means more to our family than the original ti-ti. When I packed his backpack yesterday, I saw the blanket on the floor of the living room and assumed he did not need it. I did ask him if he needed a webkinz or other comfort item and he said no. In my defense, he walked past the blanket several times before we left. About 11:30 p.m. we got a call from Cameron asking us to drive 1 hour to bring him the blanket. Of course, we said no, we'd meet them on Friday with it. A little after 12 we got a call to come to Cranberry to pick him up he was out of control. When we got there he was crying and standing outside of the van in 30 degree weather. June was also outside the van. All of his items were on top of the van. June said this was to keep him from throwing things, which I agree placing the items out of reach was a good idea. After Cam calmed a little he told us that Keara and Riley were picking on him and making fun of him while he was crying and told him his tears were fake. If anyone remembers Cameron and his ti-ti, you know those big drops of water pouring down his face are not fake. Their taunts are what sent him into a rage. I don't believe for one moment that June took the time to hold Cameron and try to comfort him when they realized he did not have his comfort item. I'm betting Keara and Riley never had a comfort item that meant as much to them as the ti-ti does to Cameron. I know all kids don't need one. Kelly never had anything that she "had" to have with her. She does have a pink baby blanket that she has had since birth. She brought the blanket and her baby Kelly with her when she moved up here in September. She even swaddled Kelly in it when she first moved here. However, by the time she left, baby Kelly was relegated to a box on top of her desk. Baby Kelly does have a place in my wedding pictures though. But, Kelly has never "had to have" this doll with her to sleep in a strange place.

As were were dressing to leave, I reminded Glenn of a similar trip when Kelly was younger. We had to drive about 45 minutes one way to pick her up at midnite from a slumber party. At no time did the other persons make her feel bad for needing to go home to her momma.

Happy Birthday, Glenn

Fair warning...this is a long one. Grab a drink and settle in. I have a bit to say, and since I live with 2 men and a male dog, noone will listen long enough to get it out.

Since I last blogged, I had Glenn's birthday party and Cameron started PSSA's.
Let's start with Glenn's birthday party. I decided to have cake for Glenn and he chose his parents house as the site. After changing it several times, it did end up being at their house. It turned out nice. Cameron had a chance to play with Sean, Linda's next door neighbor. When we lived with them in 2007, Sean and Cameron played daily. Sean is 5, I believe, and as his mother was on medical leave due to pregnancy, he was home all day. It was so funny that while I was trying to school Cameron, Sean would stand out back yelling "friend, friend." He could never remember Cameron's name. Grandma Wilma, Grandpa George, June, Jim, Keara and Riley came over for cake. As we were sitting there visiting, one of the kids came in to say that some woman named Donna was out front with Glenn. Jealous me actually jumped off the couch, threw on my coat and was headed outside to stake my claim. As I was headed out, everyone came in. Fortunately, I held my tongue and discovered that Donna is in fact a distant cousin. God was saving me from looking the fool. We all had a nice visit and then came home. Freezing all the way. The heat in my car is not working for some reason and the consensus seems to be that I may need a new control panel.

Back to Cameron's PSSA's. Cameron was scheduled for 8:45-11:45. I knew that he would have a hard time completing his testing in the time alotted. However, after waiting about 15 minutes the proctor came out to tell me he had just completed Math and was beginning Reading. We decided that I would go home and await a phone call. He was scheduled for occupational therapy today so I had to return at 2:15 to pick him up and he was still not done. I've decided that for the rest of the testing, I will leave him there with a lunch and afternoon pill. They will call me when he is ready to be picked up. I am so glad we only live 15 minutes away from the testing site in Greentree.

Glenn is experiencing his second mid-life crisis. 2 years ago when he turned 40, he got a mohawk, Camaro and started doing P90X. We both lost about 50 pounds during the 5 months I was away. You couldn't tell by looking at us now. Now he wants a motorcycle and asked if he could get a mohawk when he went for his haircut tonight. Fortunately, I was able to voice my disapproval of that idea. Work is still stressful for him. Today it was due to the job he claims. He did not tell me alot about the job, but, he brought home a pack of cigarettes that he felt compelled to buy and start smoking. I never thought I'd see the day. He quit over 11 years ago. A few times he has smoked cigars, thank you Shawn Coddington, but never mentioned a desire for cigarettes. I hope this is a short lived idea.

While doing my Praying for Purpose today I really began to think about the message. Words can be used to encourage people or destroy them. I fear that many of my words recently have not been encouraging. In fact, I think they've been more like weapons. I prayed for God to press on my heart and remind me to think before I speak. This has been an ongoing prayer for at least the past several years. I'm not sure how far I've come. I do think I've backslid alot in the past few months. I plan to take a little time to think before I speak in the future in an effort to make it a habit to only speak kind words. Please pray for me.

I don't have the best marital role models in my past. My grandparents were married over 50 years. Yet they fought...A LOT!!!! I know they loved each other. I think I got my strong will from my grandmother. I just wish I had gotten more of her best qualities, kindness, a strong shoulder and an encouraging word for all. She was good at telling you like it was, but never did I feel like I was unloved by her. I knew that I may not get the advice I wanted to hear when I called her, but I always got the advice I needed to hear. I talked to her almost every day. There are still days that I want to pick up the phone and call her. When Kelly returned from her Christmas trip to Florida she brought me pictures of my grandparents. Those pictures are on my dresser. Every morning, I say good morning to my grandmother and I've been known to give her a kiss. Watching her die was the hardest thing. I don't think I've ever properly grieved for her. I remember standing in the funeral home and crying. I did not want to leave her there. Growing up and even as a grown up I never thought I could touch a dead person. When she died, I flew to her bedside. I lived the farthest away, yet made it their first. Thank God he gave me Glenn who let me go and took care of things at home. Shirl and I climbed in bed with Grandma and held her. I never wanted to let her go. I'm still scared of touching and seeing dead people, but she was not a dead person to me, she was my grandma, one of my best friends.



My parents were really not made for each other. They truly fought mentally and physically. When my father drank, it made him mean. I recall waking up to see him physically abusing my mother. I know she could give what she got. They were going to divorce when I was little, but Daddy got sick and Mom went back to him. I'm glad that she did. It gave us more time with him. Not all of my memories of the ensuing years are positive, but, my sister loved my father unconditionally. She was his spoiled rotten brat. Yes, Paula, you were a brat. But, Mom stayed until the end. I am just sorry that he was alone when he died. I hope I can remember to pay closer attention to Glenn's parents and learn from them how to have a happy, peaceful and loving marriage. Very few people in this world can say that they love and adore their mother in law. I CAN. I love to talk to her. I call her frequently, but not enough, just to talk. She gives me great advice and understands when I complain about her son. I've been known to blame her when he is being especially demanding of attention. She just laughs and agrees. She is such a great mother that Glenn is able to be a great husband. He loves his mother and would move heaven and earth for her. I need to remind myself that 11 years ago, I felt like he would do that for me. I think he would, if only I were nicer. I don't remember my father's parents together so I have no idea how they were. I know my Grandma Dobbins was a fiery Irish woman who took crap from NO ONE. So I'm assuming that Grandpa Dobbins was a great man to put up with her. They had 6 kids and my dad was the baby. I think Grandma thought of him as her baby until the day he died, and then until the day she died. I moved to Florida as a baby and only returned to visit my grandparents several times growing up. Honestly, I only remember Regis *Grandpa* from pictures. My most vivid recollection of what Grandma said is "you'll be picking toenails out of your ass." Growing up, I never knew what that meant, but, I knew it was funny. Eventually, my smartness or is that my smart ass, caught up with me and I figured it out. That is the type of woman she was. She still said that to my dad after he was grown and moved 5 states away. I believe that he still feared that she would come and put her foot up his a** until he died.

I did take pictures at the party and another of Cameron this morning before we left for testing. My computer is still in the shop, so I will wait until I get it back before uploading pictures. Glenn does not like me to down or upload anything on his computer.

I warned you to grab a drink and settle in. Some days, I just feel the need to get my thoughts and memories out. Maybe someday I will allow my children to read some of these blogs so they can share my memories. Some of the posts will be blocked from them though.

I blame them.

I've been sitting here for a few weeks trying to figure out where my relationship with Kelly and her relationship with school went wrong. I've narrowed it down to my cousin, his wife and his bitch mother. Kelly and I were fairly okay until the three of them decided to try to destroy my marriage and my life. I wrongly took a portion of my anger and depression out on Kelly. I was not fully there for her when we lost our uncle, who was a great man. I tried to be there for her grief, but my anger did not allow me to fully be there for her. I take full responsibility for that.

Until Kelly started high school we were good. Everything came crashing down the second day of band camp. Literally, my life fell apart and I truly hope that the suffering the three of them are doing today (bitch lost her job and house, cousin lost his company, and who knows about his wife) reminds them of how "God does not like ugly" and I leave all judgment and punishment to him. I know they wish Kelly had stayed in school. The bitch wrote a check so Kelly could go to London, my other cousin made sure Kelly had a cell phone and money each month. They just wanted her to do well. She's gifted for heaven's sake.

Had I "manned up" and let Kelly attend the funeral, I might have been able to salvage our relationship. Instead, I told her no and things spiraled so fast it was a blur. I thought that I had moved past a lot and would be able to put my relationship back on track with her.

However, her freedom while living with her father was too strong of a drug, one of several, for her and she could not handle the "tough love" I tried on her over the past 6 months. I think had she never went to live with her dad, who took her out of her baccalaureate program at one of the finest high schools in the nation, she would have continued in the program and be on track for a scholarship and surefire college education.

Again, I take responsibility for my part. I was not the proper mother 2 1/2 years ago. I was selfish and that is not an appropriate thing for a loving mother to be. I hope that someday she realizes that I love her and do and did truly want what was best for her. I guess now I need to grieve for the loss of what I envisioned for her. I'm almost over the anger phase. I just hope she is not willing to settle as a hostess for life. Money is not everything, but it sure is nice if you can pay your bills each week without stressing out.

Now the question is...can the others take responsibility for their part in this mess?

How long can this possibly take?

This week has been tremendously positive compared to last week. I worked for a few hours yesterday, got all the logos cut out and decided to go out to dinner last night. I discovered that we have an Applebee's 2 1/2 miles away. I can't believe it took me this long to find it. I'm sure Kelly knew of it as she traveled through Greentree more frequently that I. Glenn and I shared the 2 for $20 special and Cameron had an appetizer trio (cheeseburgers, spinach dip and buffalo wings). At dinner Glenn told me that he was interested in taking Cameron to the Pirates' opening day on April 13th.

Today, I got up took Cameron to O/T then drove downtown to get tickets to the game only to discover that the box office was closed. Well, not closed I found out, I just went to the wrong side of the building. In Florida, the Everblades have 1, count 'em 1, set of box offices. So we drove home and started looking online for tickets. Let me go back a little. While driving, I got the bright idea to call Pappy to see if he wanted to join them for the game. A nice boy with his dad and grandpa day. Pappy mentioned that maybe his parents and brother wanted to join them. So I was up to 5 or 6 tickets. As the Pirates basically "suck" I thought "no problem," and started looking. We only needed 5 tickets as Uncle Jerry did not want to go, but Grandma Wilma and Grandpa George did. There were absolutely NO tickets other than an occasional 1...actually the same ticket kept appearing on the website. As Grandma is a little wobbly I thought hmmm maybe I can get handicapped seats so I called PNC Park. Joe found us 2 in handicapped and needed to search out 3 others. An hour or two later he called and had 5 tickets in section 131 for us. Now I need to call Pappy back for approval as Grandma is nervous about foul balls. Section approved! I call back and end up with John as my new rep and he moves us to section 132 as we don't really need wheelchair accessible spots. Now my son and husband will enjoy a 4 generation family day at PNC Park on Opening Day for the Pittsburgh Pirates! I hope Glenn remembers to take the camera and get some good pictures for the blog and facebook.

Now for the story behind the title. Today is Wednesday, Cameron's resource and testing day. His teachers in their infinite wisdom assigned an open ended essay question in two separate classes. For most kids this is a quick type it up, email it and go about my day scenario. For my child, it is read, play, procrastinate, whine, type a sentence, repeat! We have been on this since about 12:45, it's 5:53 right now and he has typed about 5 sentences. He has to have both of the assignments AND a spelling test emailed/submitted by 8 p.m. I'm afraid to let him break for dinner or we'll never get it in on time. Next week is PSSA's and I fear that he will not be able to complete the written/essay portion of the test in the time allotted. I know that I cannot hold his scores to Kelly's standards, but, I worry that if the written portion lowers his score too much he'll be retained in 4th grade. His class grades have been A's and B's so he can do the work. Okay, I'm back. I gave in and helped him finish typing the Science question and submitted them. Now he is working on his Spelling Test so I'm going to go make dinner. Glenn was supposed to work late so we planned sloppy joes and macaroni and cheese. Yummy!

Kisses and hugs

Today seems to be a better day. We grocery shopped together last night and decided to join the boss for dinner. I almost called him Glenn's boss, but, I guess it's "our" boss now. We went to Pasta Too. The best dinner I've had in awhile. So much food. We each brought home our leftover Fettucine Alfredo with Chicken and each portion is enough for two more meals. Glenn was actually telling stories and laughing by the end of dinner. This morning I got a kiss goodbye and then another one before I went shopping.

Shopping. What can I say...pure bliss! Not because I spent money, but, because I had 7 hours of no children and no husband demanding my time. I think everyone needs a little time to themselves once in awhile. Granted my time was used for the benefit of the family. Yet, I loved every minute. I went to the bank to deposit Glenn's paycheck and picked up some girl scout cookies. Love those thin mints. Then a trip to Best Buy for the worst part of the day....I had to give up my laptop for repair. The fan has not been cutting on and the laptop shuts off when it gets hot. Glenn and Cameron found me a USB fan for the computer but it made a lot of noise and was hard to position over the appropriate openings. Glenn was fed up listening to it and demanded that I take the computer into Geek Squad as I have a 3 year service plan that expires in May. I hate taking it in because they end up taking it for two weeks. After parting with my "best friend" I drove out to June's to give her some chicken that we had gotten at Strip District Meats last month. Glenn hates to eat any meat that is served bone-in so we did not use any of the chicken quarters that came with our package. I offered it to June last week but forget to send it home with her. Now that my freezer was cleaned out I was able to move on to Sam's Club with Linda. The trip to Sam's Club has been on my agenda for some time. I spent too much, but less than I expected to, only $126.00. I found some great deals...Mrs. Butterworth's syrup (2 large bottles for $6 and some change, I found smaller bottles at Giant Eagle for $4.99, so I know I got a great deal.) Then a stop off at Giant Eagle for salad dressing and a few small items I can't find anywhere else. It may seem that these are stressful stops and usually they are. Somehow, today I found them to be soothing. It was nice not having anyone demanding my time.

I even got a quick phone call in to my sister in Florida. Tomorrow I plan to get up read the paper and make ham bbq's. I see there is a hockey game at 3 so I'll be parking my big caboose on the sofa in hopes of seeing the Penguins win their sixth consecutive game. :fingers crossed: Sometime during the day I need to get Cameron on his homework. I promised myself last weekend that I would make him do all of his homework on Friday so we could have the entire weekend off. So I broke another promise....he's currently not complaining, we'll see how he feels tomorrow when I call him out to do it. Friday was too stressful of a day with work, etc. to deal with it so I'm forgiving myself this time.

I'm off to give Cameron his nightly shot and put some Kank-A on his canker sore.

Trouble on the homefront

This past week has been tremendously stressful at home. On the one hand, Kelly moved back to Florida so I don't have to worry about her every minute of the day, on the other hand, Glenn is very unhappy at work and his discord is spilling over at home.

Glenn loves tinting windows. Now that that has been said, he's terribly unhappy with the way he is paid at work. He has been voicing his unhappiness for months and there really is no way to fix the problem beyond what has been done, he just cannot let it go. Glenn was given a $5 an hour raise for flat glass installation and 3% raise on automobiles. The shop pay remained the same. He was quite happy when he was given this raise to leave his driving job last summer to return. Yet, he discovered that his co-worker made a deal 8 years ago to receive 15% of each flat glass job price. So on a $1,300 job, that took 2 hours and Glenn did most of because he is the fastest worker, Glenn made $40 and his coworker made $195. I agree with the disappointment in Glenn's eyes. He feels that he is working to make the other guy money. Working to make your boss money is one thing, but working to make your coworker money, especially when he does not work as much as you, is quite another. Yet, quitting this job does not seem like a viable choice. The economy is BAD. There are more people out of work today than ever before. Many people with more education than him are pounding the pavement looking for a paycheck...any paycheck. Paying our bills are a struggle, but, I know that each week there will either be a paycheck or an unemployment check in our account. If he quits his job we will have neither. As the bill payer that is scary for me. I cannot make him see the logic in holding on to the job and talking to his boss vs. quitting and moving into the car.

His current solution is to become a long distance truck driver. He's done this before so I know he can do it. My concerns are a)less money as a base b) less money because he is eating out 21 meals a week and c) Cameron will only see him 2 days a month. I've lived without seeing him daily so I will survive. Unhappily, but I will. Cameron on the other hand has been through enough in his short life. He does not need to have an absent father. I bring up Glenn's biological dad to him as a reminder of how hard it is on a kid when his dad is not there. Cameron lost me for 5 months through no fault of our own and certainly not by choice. Spending the next years of his life devoid of a full-time father figure is not in his best interest. I am not the most patient mother and I don't know how I could handle spending 28 days a month as a single mother. Fortunately, there would be a steady paycheck this time that I did not have 15 years ago with Kelly. I would not be solely responsible for supporting our family and I would know when Glenn was coming home so we could plan the visits. Unlike with Kelly's dad who consistently missed his visitations with Kelly when she was little because he had to "work" or did not feel well. So in some respects it would be easier as a "single parent" this time. However, I married the love of my life intending to spend every day with him. I did not sign on to be a "part-time" wife. I know that firefighter's wives have to deal with this and so do the spouses of military members. Guess what? I did not marry men in those professions. I applaud and look up to those who did. They are making a tremendous sacrifice for us. I don't think I can make that sacrifice. I want him home with us. I want to kiss him goodnight and for Cameron to have the joy of kissing his father good night.

Yesterday, Glenn and I had a tiff about using his computer. My computer has had fan issues for the past year or so. It's been in and out of the shop multiple times. Now it is shutting off after getting too hot. I decided to use Glenn's computer to look up some information for his mother. I booted up the computer to discover that Glenn had changed the password on his computer. I called him only to be talked down to like a 5 year old and told what websites I could and could not visit. Hello....I'm 38. I can look at porn if I want. I don't want...but I can! I was so mad I hung up on him and when he called back I told him I did not want to talk and refused repeatedly to talk to him. It is my understanding that coupled with the stress of work stated above, he got so made he threw his phone and broke it. I was working when he got home yesterday. I actually never saw him because he packed a bag and left telling Cameron he had no idea when he'd be home. Cameron claims he also said "if ever" but Glenn claims he did not say that. At 1:30 a.m. I decided to drive around our small town to look in parking lots for his car. After driving from one end of town to the other and not finding him, I began to cry and pled with God to lead me to Glenn if we were meant to be together. A few minutes later, I looked up to my left behind a restaurant and saw his car. I went over, knocked on the window and woke him up. He came home and we argued some more. We ended up in separate rooms and he left this morning without a kiss. That was very hurtful to me. Our typical Friday night routine is to take his paycheck to the bank about 25 miles north, go to the chiropractor and to dinner. Today he felt like doing none of it. So here I sit, alone, wondering what I can do to make it better.

On occasion, not very often, he "tweaks." The first tweak I experienced was after he went drinking with my cousin and did not come home for dinner. I took him a bag of clothes and told him to spend the night there. He ended up damaging his rims on his car, destroying our Christmas tree, our living room and our bedroom. Fortunately, my cousin and his wife came over and were able to calm him. The next one was after he stopped to look at cars on his way home from work and put a non-refundable deposit down on a car we could not afford. We argued for days and he ended up throwing a tray in a mall restaurant then shook my car door so hard the window shattered. That was over 8 years ago and I can't remember any other. Today he told me to "lay off" or he was bound to tweak again. Why can't I lay off? Am I such a bioch that I must make him see my point?

I have talked to Glenn's mom and sister. But, I just needed to get my thoughts down. If Glenn was an owner/operator of a truck it would not be a big deal. In fact, it could be a good thing. We could get Cameron a wireless access card for the laptop and he could school on the road. We could visit many places and be a family "together." However, a plan to leave us for over 11 months a year is not a viable option in my eyes. Tomorrow, I am joining Glenn's mom and possibly his sister for a trip to Sam's Club. I want to get some items in bulk before I do my local grocery shopping. I don't have a card so his mom let's me tag along with her. Last time we went, right after the hurricane in September, we got a 5 lb. bag of egg noodles that I am still using today. I'd like to invest in some "staples" to save money later on. The one thing I wish I had but don't is a deep freezer. Actually, right now I don't have room for it, but when we lived in the farmhouse I did. If you saw my basement, garage and front porch you would know what I mean by limited space. Right now, I have to step over a carpet roll to get into the house through the basement or pass a dresser and move a lawnmower on the front porch. Can you say redneck! Clumsy me is always worried I'll misstep and twist my ankle. I don't worry about falling down steps as I have that skill down to a fine art. Ask anyone at Flo-Master Plumbing. I fell down a long flight of stairs and jumped up like a cat saying "I'm alright!" But those little missteps are what causes me the most damage. Remember the falling off Kelly's bed as I was stepping off last week?!

Glenn's boss just called and offered to take us out to dinner as a celebration for completing this big job. I'm not sure how much celebrating Glenn will do though...his coworker made $1,950 to Glenn's $750. Deep breaths. I must take alot of deep breaths and SHUT MY MOUTH!!!!!!

Work is so "hard."

I realize I've only worked 10 1/4 hours so far, but, seriously, I forgot how hard it is to work and get Cameron to complete his schoolwork and homework.

I'm enjoying working for Glenn's boss. This week is a deadline week so I'm on a full-out schedule to get it done quick. The company is installing graphic film on two floors of a high rise office building downtown. Right now we are working on the 20th floor. There are 31 frames of windows. The frames consist of 10-20 different size and panes. The graphics are different for every frame and there are two different films/colors in each design. My job is to download the design from the film manufacturer who has deciphered the blueprints sent to them by the architect. I get to separate the shapes for each color and put them on a "table," trying to leave as little space as possible for waste. Then I have to plot or cut them for the guys to install. So far I have completed 2 windows fully cut. Three more have been set up for cutting when we get more film tomorrow. I expect 4-8 more designs to come via email tomorrow. Several of the frames are solely squares and rectangles, which I don't need to cut, as it is easy for the guys to do it free-hand. The entire 20th floor needs to be completed by Friday so I expect to be very busy over the next few days.

Tomorrow I have to meet Tony about 9:45 a.m. and work until 10:45 then off to occupational therapy with Cameron. Once we return about 1:00, I expect to be working most of the afternoon and evening. Yet, sometime during the day, I need to come home for about an hour or so, so that Cam can type and essay an complete a 50 word spelling test. Both need to be done on-line and there is no wireless internet at the shop. I can't wait until Saturday when this deadline is over and done with!

Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy the job. I'm just not used to having my time taken away from Cameron's schooling like this. I'm used to being able to drop everything to answer a question or look something up for him.

On a super happy note...I connected with one of my cousin's in Florida. She has always been one of my favorite's and I helped her plan her wedding several years ago. She was supportive of my relationship with Kelly several years ago and made an effort to support the communication between and made it available when there was no other way. I miss her tremendously and although I know we will never be as close as we were before due to other family members, I am just so happy to have talked to her on the phone and on Facebook. Welcome to Facebook PJ (You know who you are)!

She's gone, gone, gone.

12:12 p.m. - I just received an e-mail from Kelly's stepmom. Kelly arrived safe and sound. Very tired, I'm sure! I'll wait to see if she calls when she wakes up later today.

Update- Due to the winter storm, Kelly's flight from Pittsburgh was late arriving in Charlotte. She arrived 45 minutes late and missed her connecting flight to Fort Myers. USAir finally got her on a flight at 1:50 a.m. The flight was due in between 1 and 2. It finally arrived at 3:24 this morning. A flight that should have taken 4 hours took almost 8 hours. I bet she is exhausted. As I read the flight tracker info it looks like she may have actually been on the flight that she missed. It was due to leave at 10:09, but left at 1:50 a.m. She was due in to FM at 11:56 p.m. I'll just have to wait to talk to her to see what happened.



That's it. I'm down to one child at home. The past few weeks have been tense, but, deep inside I truly miss her already.

As I've said before, Kel made the decision to move back to Florida to pursue her "dreams." I have to let go and let God. I know that this may be what's best for our relationship but I miss her so much. I could not take her to the airport for two reasons. Both pain related. The first, and the only one she knows about is that I "fell" off her bed yesterday and hurt my left foot. It is slightly swollen and the pain is unbearable at times. Somehow I landed on the electric surge protector thingie when I came down. The other is the pain my heart feels in knowing she's gone. She does not know how much this hurts and I don't plan to tell her. I'm not sure if she will get joy from my pain or not care. I don't really want to know. I did hug her several times and made sure she knew that I still love her and I will miss her.

I sort of have a part-time job. Glenn's boss bought a new plotter and computer for printing sign graphics last week. The 4 men at the company are not quite computer savvy so I was called in to figure it out. I worked 2 1/2 hours today and need to go back tomorrow to finish the first part of a job they are doing this week. We could not finish today because Tony, his boss, had to go to Church (Jehovah's go to church at 3:30 on Sunday's) and we needed to come home to watch a hockey game and get Kelly ready to leave. There is also an issue with the designs and matching them to the frames on the blueprints. Hopefully, we can reach the contact at CPFilms to see where the designs actually go as they don't match up. I like the work and hope it continues. They are talking about selling invisible bra and window tint kits on-line. If they do, then I will be in charge of cutting the film for the orders. I'm excited about the prospect. Granted, I won't meet anyone new, but I can do it on my schedule and the shop is across the street so I can run over as needed.

I'm off to try and move some of Cameron's clothes to Kelly's room. We are moving him upstairs for sleeping so that we can see what he's doing at night. No more staying up til who knows when! We also plan to move his computer into his room so that he does not have to do his schooling in our bedroom anymore. Oh to have our room all to ourselves!!!! What a dream, what a dream! We are trying to figure out if we should run a wire into his room for the internet or wait until this summer when he gets his laptop. Decisions, decisions. I think it will depend on if we can find a long enough wire. I don't really want to invest in an electric wireless adaptor. Armstrong Cable in Butler gave us one, but Comcast claims to not know what I'm talking about when I ask them about it. They seem to run about $60 online. I don't think that is a wise economic decision for several months so the move may be delayed.

Kelly's room was never painted. It is still an ugly blue. We have been contemplating what to do about the walls since she decided to move and we decided to move Cameron upstairs. Glenn had the idea to paint the walls camo. Yikes. I think that would take a long time and be quite difficult. Of course, anyone who has seen Glenn's painting ideas knows that I underestimate his abilities, i.e., the "brick" walls in Lehigh. I was talking to Linda about it yesterday and she mentioned that putting fabric on walls is becoming popular. I remembered that Paula sent me some camo fabric that she had purchased for her boys but did not use. Linda's idea was to use liquid starch and put the fabric up like wallpaper.We are nervous because the walls are paneling and I'm nervous about how the fabric would have held up with the ridges if we do it that way. We think we are just going to staple it using a high power stapler and pull it taut. Once I get the fabric up, I will post pictures. I'm excited to do it, but know that I cannot do it until the other walls are painted. Glenn is planning to work on the room next weekend if he does not have to work. Cross your fingers that we get the room done soon.