So loved and so missed

Last month my mom, Darlene, was on her way to visit us for Lucas' 1st birthday. On her way, she was in a fatal car accident with a very dear friend of hers. Instead of meeting her at the bus station downtown, I was faced with seeing her bruised and swollen in an ICU room.

I have spent the past month vacillating between being strong and doing what is necessary and completely losing it and feeling like my whole world has dropped out from under me. I know that it will take time to fully grieve for MY loss. She is in a better place, visiting with our loved ones who went on before us. My father, nephew, brother, grandmother and uncle are a few who come to mind.

I really feel like I need to take the time to put down some of the special memories I have with my mother.

Every year on our birthday, my mother would take us to the cake store to pick a cake pan and cake flavor. Then, after we went to school, she would get up and bake our cake and decorate it. Many birthdays, I can remember coming home to see her bent over the cake lovingly decorating it with her special butter cream icing. We did not get big birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese or at a park, but we always knew that our mother cherished the day we were born and wanted us to know that.

Growing up in Florida on the gulf coast, it was a given that the beach would be a part of our life. Behaving well at the beach was not always such a given. But, Mom promised us that if we behaved well, a visit to Love Is Homemade Ice Cream was in our future on the way home. Back then the only way to the beach was via McGregor Blvd. so we always passed it on the way home, and it was a sad day when our actions caused her car to keep going as we passed that beloved place. I know that it hurt her as much as it hurt us to pass it, but she held firm to her rules and we rarely missed a visit. Love Is still stands and last spring we took our son to get ice cream there on the way home from the beach. I hope that someday, my daughter continues the tradition with Lucas.

Last spring, we had the opportunity to visit Florida for a few weeks. We stopped off at Mom's to spend the night so she could meet Lucas and decided at the last minute to take her with us. She relished the opportunity to spend time with us and spent the whole trip down sitting by Lucas and loving him. Kelly relished the help. Cameron enjoyed his time with his Nana. They were very close and she took him to the pool every day when he finished his schoolwork. I know that he misses her very much.

My Mom struggled, but at her core we knew she loved us. She never ended a phone call without saying "I love you, tell Glenn and the kids I love them too. Be sure to give everyone a hug and a kiss for me." I often reach for the phone to call her and tell her something going on in our life, but she's not there. That is what is very hard for me right now. My mother in law said I can call her anytime and I love her very much, but it's just not the same. Dare I say it? I MISS MY MOMMY!!!!

I know that the next year(s) will be a struggle as I come to grips with my loss. I know that she is in Heaven watching over my family and is our very special guardian angel. I love you, Mommy.

Summer lovin' had me a blast...Summer lovin' happens so fast

I can't believe how fast the summer is progressing. But, first let me say, RIP my dear brother, Chuckie. He passed away 26 years ago today. I can still remember so much about that day and it's too painful to share with anyone so as I tend to do with the things that hurt the deepest, I hold it in. Thank goodness my children know about him and are able to understand when I say today is the anniversary and frown, they walk away and leave me to my pain. God has truly blessed me with great children.

So much has happened this summer. Cameron made the honor roll for the first time EVA!!! He is so proud but couldn't be as proud as his parents. For his efforts, Family Video has given him 7 free game/movie rentals and we gave him a Droid phone of his choosing. Why no, we don't spoil our children, why would you ask?!

Kelly and Jake's schedule works out that I only have Lucas 1-2 afternoon/evenings a week. Except last week when Jake went to Alaska and I had him every day. He's rolling over and smiling alot. 18 pounds now. My little chunky monkey!

Last year Glenn reconnected with his aunt's on his biological father's side. (We will not mention that man by name). After a few lunches, dinners, and picnics we planned a weekend camping trip. With a little bit of trepidation and a lot of joy, we ventured out in our "new to us" camper this weekend to traverse the hills of Route 28 to Brookville, PA.

Now, anyone who truly knows me knows that I am NOT, I repeat NOT an outdoor girl. I do just fine sitting on my sofa with a laptop, cable tv and cell phone at the ready. Campfires, sleeping bags and bugs...not so much. But, when asked why I was going if I hated camping, I could only reply "the things we do for love." Glenn's aunts have accepted me with nothing but kindness and acceptance. As long as I didn't have to sleep mere inches from the ground in a tent, I was okie dokey.

We ventured out hours late on Friday due to typical Hazletts leave 3 hours late, a need to replace a thermostat and Glenn's inability to drive anything that does not look perfect. Yes, he painted and restriped the camper, not completing it until about noon on Friday. Passed the campground twice but finally arrived.

7 kids and 7 adults later we were having a ball. Cameron said he had the best time ever with his 2nd cousins, Julie, Landon, Mason, Natalie, Christopher and Marley. He even professed to enjoy playing with the little girl from the neighbor camp, the one that karate kicked his arms leaving welts. She's an orange belt and I was a bit disgusted but held myself in check. For those in the know, another big surprise there!

We all had the chance to fish, make s'mores, tell stories around the campfire and peruse the Hazlett family history book provided by Aunt Joann. She brought it so I could gleam information for ancestry.com. But, when children are a bit bored, they'll do anything and the book was their anything. They discovered two major finds that blew their mind (1) Aunt Patty was married and (2) someone had 32 gold teeth. Amazing what children find as interesting.

Saturday night my heart hit my chest as I scrambled, not so elegantly or efficiently, out of my chair. The neighbors brought their fireworks to our site and let them off. One of them took off in a spiral and flew toward us at the campfire, almost hitting a few children on the way. By that point, I couldn't take it anymore and headed back to the camper to finish my book and watch a movie.

Sunday dawned with the pleasant surprise of my husband cooking me breakfast. Think if I moved into the camper he'd do it everyday? Yeah, me neither. Finally headed home and stopped for ice cream, I just tried a dreamsicle shake of "aunt" Jane and it was delicious. Mason liked it so much, we thought he'd finish it himself.

Upcoming is 4th of July and we've yet to finalize plans, maybe 1 day downtown at the Regatta, one day at Scott Township and still up in the air for the other. The Pirates are in town on the 4th for an afternoon game. Maybe I can convince the family to go and stay for fireworks.

Happy 4th of July, my friends. Please remember why we celebrate. Many of our elected leaders want us to throw away or forget what our ancestors did for us and what they envisioned when they wrote the Declaration of Independence and Constitution. I will never forget. I will be sure to say the Pledge of Allegiance and my version includes "one nation under GOD." I hope yours does too. Thank you to every man and woman who makes or made the sacrifice of their time, family and/or life to keep us free from kings and tyrants. God Bless America!

Family tree

I have spent the past four months working on my family tree. It started out (this time, I had worked on it in 2004 also) with two occurrences.
1. My basement flooded and I had to dry out all my pics and family info passed down from my grandmother, Margaret Clark Pierce.
2. Right about the same time, my second cousins were on facebook discussing our great great grandfather, Reese Jones and his lineage.

Well, smarty me chimed in and claimed I had the missing key, my grandmother's notes. That sent me on a whirlwind, virtual world tour of our family dating back to 1676 on my mother's side and 1848 on my father's side.

I've been to Ireland, Wales, Prussia, and Germany. Yet, Reese Jones still sits lonely.

I found the other day, that it pays to open yourself up. I was talking to my sister, Tammy, and telling her about the dilemma. She thought, much like I originally did, that she'd jump on the computer and find him in a matter of minutes. 4 hours later, our visit was concluding with no additional info on him, but some funny, interesting facts about our other relatives.

She has taken on the task of a future visit to Mahanoy City, PA to find Reese's birth certificate. I was able to find what book his marriage license to my great great grandmother, Susanna M. Snyder was in. Hoping that the marriage license may even provide info to send us on a new virtual trek. I'm glad she has volunteered. I live over 5 hours away and she is a mere 1 1/2 hours.

If any of my relatives know any information regarding our line, please contact me. I will be happy to pass on my ancestry.com u/n & p/w so you can see what I have and compare and/or add to the tree. When you contact me, please let me know how we are related. I don't want to just give this info to anyone.

You can view my photo in my albums to read Gram's notes about the lineage. He was supposedly raised by an aunt, Gussie Swanson nee Friend. I don't know her formal name, so I've been unable to find any census records on him. The first census he appears in is 1900. I have not found him in an 1880 census. He was born in 1793 to a Sarah Jones. She later married (no husband name) and had two more children Franklin and Miriam. This differs a bit from other family notes, but I have the Gussie Swanson info that no one else seems to mention.

There was a Sarah Jones age 15 in the 1870 census, she was the domestic servant to a William and Mary Jones from Wales. There were three or four boarders in the home. She was originally from Ashland, PA. William and the boarders were all miners.

Hopefully, this family mystery will someday soon be solved and the multitudes of Clark/Jones descendants will rejoice. What makes this so interesting is that he, and ultimately, our great grandmother, Anna Jones Clark was the heir to an estate in Wales. But, my grandfather refused to allow her to go to Wales to claim it. Which sucks because he died in 1946 leaving her destitute with children still at home.

Hope to hear from some of you soon.

Out of hiding

I just realized that it's been almost 2 months since I've posted. Yes, I guess I've been hiding out.

No, really, I've just been soooo busy. It takes a lot of time to play those pesky facebook games. Know what I mean?

So much has happened and I've turned to the tough love philosophy in parenting and I'm having a hard time with it.

First, Cam is doing fairly well at school. He does get up and get to school on time. Sits through 4 tediously long hours of class then bolts from the classroom like it's on fire. He's pretty good at getting homework in within a week AFTER the due date, but in class assignments are just too much for him. He ended up with 2 B's and 2 D's last quarter. Who woulda thunk that one of the B's was in Math? And the other English? His two least favorite subjects.

Tomorrow is no school but he has to write a short story before Monday. I anticipate a lot crying and whining. Then there's Cameron's reaction. He has a very creative mind but just can't seem to get it down on paper. This year, I've taken to the "your homework, you do it" mantra. That along with "I've already passed 6th grade." He is so used to me typing for him and in the process adding a bit of help that this year is harder for him. I know that my "help" was a detriment so I made sure the teachers knew my old ways and my new ways so they could be prepared.

Kelly was still living with us until last week when I just couldn't take her disrespect any more and had to kick her out. On the first glance it seems like a stupid reason to toss her (wouldn't do the dishes) but when you combine it with treating us with disdain, constantly yelling at her brother, refusal to speak in a nice tone unless it was about her precious Jake, then you kind of get my point. The dishes were her "rent." I did not want to ask her for money, except her car insurance payment, because I wanted her to save money for her own apartment. 2 months later, she still had no money saved. Her recent text to me was how she couldn't help it if she was exhausted from working 2 jobs to save money. Umm, that flies if you actually save money. She also felt that since she worked, she should not have to cook, clean or anything but sit around and control our living room. She actually didn't have to cook, clean or even do laundry. It was pick up after yourself and do dishes. We'd give her 2 days and when she still didn't do them, Glenn would before work. After serious thought, I concluded that it was best to do it now and give her 3 months to get it together before the baby came. I know that once the baby comes I won't be able to do it, despite the fact that we have no room in our house for her. We had a 3 bedroom house and she swore she'd never move home. The same week we moved to a 2 bedroom, she came back. WTH?! I really hope she does get it together. I know she'll be a great, nurturing and attentive mother. It's the ability to support herself that scares me. I gave her the number of a pregnancy house that will help her find resources but I don't think she's using it. You can lead a horse to water....

Glenn has been enjoying the motorcycle riding this summer. Since Jim and Glenn have traded bikes, I am able to ride with him and finally took my first ride in over 30 years last month. I LOVE IT!!!! I can't wait for the spring so I can go again. I stupidly went on a 50 degree day and well, yea, never again!!!

My little sister came to visit last month and for about a day and half it was great. I did love spending time with my nephew, Tylar.

Last week I reconnected with a cousin I had not seen in about 25 years and discovered that one of her sisters (I guess that would be another cousin) lives about 3 1/2 hours away. I can't wait to drive out and spend some time with her.

Also, Glenn met his Hazlett aunts last month. We have found them to be fun and a pleasure to be around. In the next week or two I'll be having a ladies lunch (no kids) with one of his aunts. She's Glenn's age and we have a lot in common. Now, if you can just keep us out of Target there might be a fighting chance for the rest of you.

I close with a promise to post Cameron's short story when it gets done. His story will be about a boy, who is a hunter and goes off to hunt a wolf in the Alaskan wilderness. The wolf has been stealing and eating the fish that the fishermen bring in. He has a great ending and I'll let you ponder what that is. Suffice to say, you will enjoy it.

Lucas Gavin Miller

Kelly had her ultrasound today and she is having a boy. Click here to view the ultrasound video. They no longer show the goods in the video or even on the picture they print for the parents.

Rolling with the flow

Wow, this year seems to be rolling along. I think the much anticipated pictures will be up and available soon. Strike that....they are here. At least the downstairs pictures are. Honestly, I am just too lazy to go upstairs and get the ones of the bedrooms.

I started to upload them to blogger but it just gets tedious and slow so if you want to see them use this link....http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=233322&id=550377911&l=142c8a7157

This week has been a bit of a crazy one. Cameron started breaking out in bites on Friday. By Saturday, we were circling them daily to see what popped up new. I thought they might be chicken pox but it has not spread to his face and there are only one on each leg. We considered bed bugs but after a very close examination of his bed, we find no evidence to support it. He says they itch so he's taking allergy medicine (benadryl) and this morning I started putting calamine lotion on them. If we don't see an improvement by Friday, I will call the doctor or a pest man. Amazingly, noone else is having this problem. Kelly has slept in his bed a few nights and she seems to be fine.

Glenn is working all the time and in this economy it's not a bad thing. Kelly is working at Spirit Halloween again and we are getting Cam's costume there. He wants to be Michael Jackson. I mentioned we'd have to give him a black face and she reminded me "why bother" he was white. LOL He's been practicing his moves and I'll get a soundless video to upload once we have his costume.

Tomorrow is Kelly's ultrasound. She is uber excited. I would be too, but, I've been forbidden to attend the big event. My van, however, is welcome to transport her and the baby daddy. She is having a 3D ultrasound in Florida next month and that is one I can't wait to see. For $12.95 anyone can log on and watch it live and have access to it for one full year, I believe. As I get more info, I'll pass it along.


She better make it home by 4:30 as I am going to Cranberry to meet one of my favorite author's and get her new book signed. I recently discovered that her series of books are being made into movies and Katherine Heigl is starring. I think Jennifer Hudson is in it too. I really must find the newsletter to be sure. Nope, it's Sherri Shepherd. Better yet, they started filming it in July in PITTSBURGH. I wish I had known. I would have been front and center checking that out!

I'm sorry I never posted Cam's 1st day of 6th grade picture but really, do you want to see him standing around in his jammies? The best part of homeschooling is the minimal laundry.

Have a wonderful day.

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A whole month

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted, but what a month.

A few weeks ago we decided to move. Just 2 doors away but that makes no difference. It actually took longer for us to move this time than it did for us to move 5 states away. Maybe it's because we refused to rent a moving truck or maybe it's because my back was hurting much of the time or, and the excuse I prefer, is that while we were trying to move in, the previous tenant was moving out and not in a particularly efficient manner. They literally would only move one load a day. Frickin eh, just get it over with!

We are now renting Glenn's boss's house. Nothing like completely embedding yourself into our life, thereby ensuring that Glenn can never find another job!

We really like the new house, however, after practically begging my daughter to move back home to our 3 bedroom house, she decides to wait until our second night in our 2 bedroom house. We absolutely have no room for her or the baby but I will NOT put her out. I recall sleeping on my grandparents living room floor, with my 2 siblings, while my parents slept on the couch in a 2 bedroom trailer that regularly housed my grandparents, great grandmother and aunt. Things may be tight but we will survive. Kelly is on the couch but I may allow her and Cam to switch sleeping spots as he loves the couch and his room is finally organized. Thank you Glenn!!!!

My favorite part of the house is our dressing room and 12-14 foot closet, Cam's classroom is also set up in this room. Least favorite...one bathroom...DOWNSTAIRS! Not cool at night when I have to pee every hour. At least I'm getting a workout.

Glenn has been working hard for the past few weeks trying to find somewhere to put all of our, dare I say it?, crap!!!

I can't believe that I actually survived a weekend of my sister and her daughter coming to stay with us while we still had moving boxes everywhere. The way I figure it, everyone has moved, our relationship is more important and if she can't look past a few boxes then "oh well." She did look past them and we had an awesome girls time. Poor Cam had to put up with me, Tammy and Jessie doing a girl's spa night. He had his laptop so he was just fine. Sunday, Jessie and I took Tammy to the Strip District where she managed to knock out quite a few Christmas gifts.

I am sorry to say, but, we had a loss in the family tonight. After 5 years, our vacuum cleaner bit the dust after finishing Cameron's room. Glenn said it was starting to smoke and it really stunk. We will be replacing this dear member of our family and once we do, I won't miss it's predecessor at all!

I know that on Facebook, I've promised pictures of our new house and I will get them up. As soon as we have the house completely done, including the pile of laundry residing in my hallway being washed, dried, and conveniently hidden away. Of course, that is the hard part as we are out of room.

My other sister is coming to visit on October 1st and again on Martin Luther King's birthday weekend. That is when I am doing Kelly's baby shower as my older sister is in retail and that is the best weekend for her. Despite the sibling arguments Paula and I have had through the years, I miss her. It's been over 3 years since I've seen her and she wants to see the leaves change so in a few weeks I'll be seeing her.

School is going well for Cameron. He is on a 10-2 schedule again and I've been good about getting him up between 8 and 9 every morning so he has time to relax before class. Most mornings I even stay up, but a few I have laid back down til between 10 and 11. Quite a change of pace for me! Cameron loves Science but his favorite class is Social Studies with his lone male teacher.

Kelly is working at Spirit Halloween again and will have her ultrasound on September 15th. I'll try to remember to scan the ultrasound picture or upload a video from the DVD and hopefully announce the sex. We are hoping for a girl, but I'll love a boy too. She has chosen the names, Zoe Jane and Lucas Gavin. She claims the baby is very active and it's favorite resting spot is on her bladder. I remind her she should be glad that it's not like her. Both Tammy and I discovered that our daughter's liked to lay on our sciatic nerve. They were a pain in the a$$ before they were born, but we love them tremendously.

Happy end of summer. I can't believe that my children are (1) a high school graduate about to become a mommy and (2) a 6th grader who is becoming more independent by the day. I am entirely too young for all this, but I am loving the new experiences. This Friday, we are attending the Spirit of America concert at the new hockey rink. We saw the show a few years ago and loved it. Cam was completely enthralled by it so we decided to do it again. If I can get pics, I will upload them.